Key to my Soul
by Hannurdock
Summary: Hannibal finds a book of Murdock's poetry.


  
Title: The Key to my Soul  
  
Author: Hannurdock / Georgina Ann Price  
  
Summary: Hannibal happens upon a book of Murdock's poetry.  
  
  
  
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I wander through the attic, morbid thoughts of Murdock in the hospital, Murdock being in a coma. It shouldn't have happened that way. A mission which went very, very wrong.  
  
Then I see the book. A notepad with a leather cover. I flick it open. The title reads "Insight, by H M Murdock". Strange, I had no idea Murdock was a writer. Interested, I turn the page and begin to read the selection of five poems.   
  
  
  
"Insight"  
What's in my mind? A cavern dripping with lost memories  
Memories that should have died a long time ago  
Smell of jungle, taste of fear, touch of guilt  
Killed, be killed. Does it matter now?  
The mind warped with drugs, no one gives a shit  
Insane? Sane? It doesn't matter now  
In here, I have lost time, lost self  
A self-pitying darkness in which I enshroud myself  
Only those who have been there will ever understand  
HM Murdock (1975)  
  
  
  
"Love Lost"  
As I think of my lost love  
The girl with the dog  
The Vetenerian with a heart for animals  
I ask myself where I failed?  
With a tender heart and a kind soul  
She failed to find love with me  
Is it true I shall be doomed to a life without love?  
Or maybe, I just can't be loved  
Because I am insane  
HM Murdock (1987)  
  
  
  
"The Key to my Soul"  
Loneliness and fear, loneliness and fear  
Find the key to my soul, and I shall try and hear  
Kind words spoken to my heart and mind  
That key is so hard for others to find  
  
I keep it locked in my mind at night  
I never have it out of my sight  
If I should lose it, they would mock me  
Why can't they all see?  
  
Have I any real friends who see  
The real loneliness, the real me  
Its hard enough keeping up a calm facade  
All emotions seem to be barred  
  
I weep at night when no-one knows that I cry  
I hope each mission that I should die  
Why can't I leave this lonely bitter place?  
Only two reasons ..... I'd miss the team and Face.  
HM Murdock (1988)  
  
  
  
"The Clouds Call"  
Flying, flying way up high  
The clouds, the morn dew, the endless sky  
Hearing the birds, the sounds of peace  
Why can't I stay up here on a long term lease  
  
The hubbub of normal life is lost here  
The pain, the heartbreak, the lonely fear  
Try not to come down, stay close to the blue  
Where everything is fresh, light and new  
  
All of this passion, is through being in the sky  
I live my life, just becuase I can fly  
When life gets too dismal, and I think I will fall  
That's when I hear the clouds call  
  
  
  
"Flying"  
I soar into the lonely sky  
And whisper to my troubles goodbye  
The plane is more than just a bird  
Its more than just a simple word  
Its something that I can't explain  
A feeling that is like the rain  
Soft and gentle, a feeling true  
A feeling I can't explain to you  
As I fly, this feeling becomes almost tragic  
It is to me, the most delightful magic.  
  
  
I close the book softly, hearing footsteps. I put it under my coat quickly before a familiar face clambers into the attic. Peck.  
  
"You okay, Kid?" I ask, seeing a spark of hope in the Lieutenant's eyes.  
  
"Murdock, he's woken up" Face says, his eyes darting wildy, his voice choked with emotion. "The doctors say he's going to be okay".  
  
I smile. "I'll be down in a moment. Can we see him?"  
  
"BA is already sitting in there. Whenever your ready, Colonel". Face leaves as abruptly as he arrived, he must see the dark contemplative look I possess.  
  
I re-read the poems quickly. I am no psyciatrist - but this much is certain. I have found the key to Murdock's soul, and I intend to open the door and help him overcome the loneliness, the demons, the bitter war he wages alone within himself.  
  
I will help him, no matter how long it takes. I decide on the first action I will make when I next see him. A long, warm embrace. And I shall whisper softly to him that he is not alone.  
  
Hannibal  
  
  
THE END  



End file.
